Arriving at the beach, the dark haired suburban wife took off the robe she wore and laid out in her one piece bathing suit. Her portly husband dropped his travel bag and headed into the ocean.It wasn't long before a white rabbit came hopping out from the woods and stopped just a few feet away from the large woman. She rolled over onto her stomach and looked at it. "Awww, aren't you cute?"The rabbit bounded forward a few hops. "I'm sorry, little guy, but I don't have any carrots." He hopped closer still and wiggled his nose at her. The young woman flicked her light brown hair behind her shoulder and laid down on her stomach. Her diet had paid off and now she was going to enjoy tanning in her new bikini. Her fiance, Will, would go wild for an all body. As hard as he worked on his diet along with such a life changing trip, she figured he deserved the treat.She'd refused to go on the cruise at first. They hadn't really had the money for it. They were both in their mid twenties and. I developed the curse when I was 21, that was 12 years ago now. 33 years old, living with this wine breath from Hell, and assaulted on a daily basis by what amounts to alcoholic freebasing stalker chicks, my life is a nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone. The only people that seem to be immune are the rest of my family. Anyone who's a closer blood relative than a fourth cousin can't smell the magic mouth and doesn't taste the wine, though that MIGHT have something to do with the fact that its a family tradition that's more iron clad than federal law that we only drink grain alcohol or mead (brewed honey) if we're going to drink at all...Now, you might be wondering what I do for a living with a curse like this? Nope, not a sommelier, I'd be fired in under an hour: no, not a cop or P.I., no way you keep a low profile with this curse: no not a politician, I'm basically a walking scandal, but you're getting closer with those last two. Bingo: tabloid reporter! Aren't too many of those rags.
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